45 Witty Investment Pick Up Lines to Impress

Call me Warren Buffett, because I know a good investment when I see one.

Are you a high-yield investment? Because the dividends of your attention are paying off.

Your eyes are like the perfect investment - valuable and captivating.

Is your name ROI? Because you're giving me an excellent return on my investment.

I'd like to make a long-term investment in getting to know you better.

Let's be like a good investment portfolio - diversified and balanced.

Call me an emerging market, because I'm ready for some foreign investment.

Call me a credit card, because I'll let you swipe me anytime.

I'd breach any non-compete agreement just to be with you.

Your efficiency is intoxicating - want to streamline our processes together?

I'd diversify my entire portfolio just for a chance with you.

Is your middle name 'Profit Margin'? Because you're making me feel like a million bucks.

I must be in arrears, because I've fallen hard for you.

You've disrupted my entire industry - I can't focus on anything but you.

Let's be like blockchain - our connection will be unbreakable and transparent.

Your business strategy must be flawless, because you've cornered the market on my heart.

Is your name Equity? Because I'd like to have a significant stake in you.

Are you a bearer bond? Because I'd like to get my hands on you.

If you were a corporation, I'd buy out all your shares just to have controlling interest.

If charm were a commodity, you'd have a monopoly on the entire market.

You must be a successful CEO, because you're taking over my thoughts.

Is your name Revenue? Because you're all I can think about, day and night.

If you were listed on the stock exchange, I'd put all my assets into you.

You must be a unicorn startup, because you're one in a billion.

Is your name Synergy? Because together, we could be more than the sum of our parts.

Your smile is like a bull market - it just keeps going up.

Your business savvy is so attractive, I'm ready to tender an offer right now.

I'd trade all my blue-chip stocks for just one date with you.

Are you a merger? Because you're making my assets and liabilities one.

Are you a quarterly report? Because you're making my numbers go up.

Is your name Profit? Because I've been looking to maximize you.

Are you a startup? Because I'd like to invest all my time in you.

Call me the Federal Reserve, because I'm ready to stimulate your economy.

Are you a SWOT analysis? Because you're my Strength, Weakness, Opportunity, and Threat all in one.

Is your name Capital? Because I'd love to see some returns on you.

Let's synergize our core competencies and create some real value together.

Are you a disruptive technology? Because you've completely innovated my world.

I must be looking at a blue chip stock, because you're a valuable addition to any portfolio.

Is your love life in a bear market? Let me bull-ish you up.

Your business acumen is so attractive, I'd sign any contract you put in front of me.

Are you an IPO? Because you're about to go public with me.

Let's skip the due diligence - I'm ready to sign on the dotted line with you.

Call me the SEC, because I'd like to closely examine your figures.

Are you a hostile takeover? Because you've aggressively captured my interest.

Is your name Dividend? Because you're paying off in all the right ways.