33 Dirty Medical Pick Up Lines To Get Them

Let's play 'name that body part' - I'll use my tongue.

I'm no anesthesiologist, but I bet I can make you feel numb all over.

Let's skip the CT scan and go straight to full-body contact.

Want to test my circulation? I promise the blood's flowing to all the right places.

Care for some exposure therapy? I'll show you mine if you show me yours.

I'm no plastic surgeon, but I'd love to enhance your assets.

Let's be like a pair of lungs - I'll go down, you come up.

Want to play with my autoclave? I promise it's hot and steamy.

Care to examine my bone structure? I've got one you might be particularly interested in.

Bones are white, bruises are blue, I'd fracture my fibula just to be with you.

Care to be my personal stress test? You're already making my heart race.

Dopamine is pleasure, serotonin is mood, but you're the neurotransmitter that puts me in the groove.

Stomach acid is clear, bile is yellow-green, you're the antacid to my heartburn, if you know what I mean.

EKGs show red, CT scans show blue, but no test can measure how much I'm into you.

Roses have thorns, violets have stems, your eyes dilate my pupils like anticholinergic gems.

Inflammation is red, ischemia is blue, my differential diagnosis only includes you.

Erythrocytes are red, cyanosis is blue, my O2 sats drop every time I see you.

Strep throat is red, hypothermia is blue, I'm running a fever, but only for you.

I'm no allergist, but I bet I can make you break out... in pleasure.

I'm no chiropractor, but I bet I could adjust your back just right.

Want to test my reflexes? I promise I'll react quickly.

Want to play doctor? I've got the perfect tool for your internal exam.

Let's play 'find the G-spot' - I'll be thorough in my examination.

White blood cells fight, red cells carry O2, But nothing compares to what you do to me, boo.

Platelets are sticky, plasma is runny, your smile's so bright, it's giving me bunny.

Roses are red, cyanosis is blue, I'm tachycardic when I'm with you.

Let's be like a catheter - I'll go in deep and drain you dry.

Want to check my blood pressure? I warn you, it rises when you're near.

Care to test my motility? I promise I'm a fast swimmer.

I must have rhinitis, because you're making me breathless.

Want to be my personal defibrillator? You've already got my heart racing.

Let's skip the foreplay and go straight to labor.

Care for some hormone therapy? I've got a natural injection for you.

I'm no urologist, but I'd love to examine your flow.

Why study an embryo when we can make one!

I’m jealous of your stethoscope… I am the one who should be wrapped around your neck!

I’m a med student, trust me, I KNOW how to palpate you right! 😉

What do you and a febrile patient have in common? You’re both hot.

I’d check your blood sugar, but you’re sweet enough.

I hope to someday be your emergency contact.. 😉

Let's be like a successful skin graft and become permanently attached.

Care to test my endurance? I promise I can go all night.

Want to check my prostate? I promise I'll return the favor.

I must have priapism, because this attraction has lasted way longer than four hours.

Fancy a full body exam? I'll be thorough.

I must have Parkinson's, because you make me tremble.

Let's be like a pair of testes and produce something together.

Want to test my gag reflex?

I'm not an OB/GYN, but I'd love to deliver you multiple times tonight.

Let's skip the oral medication and go straight to suppository.