58 Cardiovascular Pick Up Lines

My heart rate's already elevated, but seeing you just took it to a whole new level.

Are you an EKG? Because you're making my heart skip a beat in all the right ways.

Must be tachycardia, because my heart races every time you walk by.

You must be a cardiotonic, because you make my heart stronger just being near you.

Is your name Systole? Because you make my heart contract in the best way possible.

Call me the aorta, because all my blood flows toward you.

You must be a beta-blocker, because you calm my racing heart – or wait, maybe you're the one causing it.

Are you the SA node? Because you're setting the rhythm of my heart.

Like a perfectly synchronized cardiac cycle, we'd make a great pair.

My cardiac output just increased by 50% - must be the effect you have on me.

You're like cardio - you take my breath away and leave me wanting more.

Are you my coronary arteries? Because I can't live without you.

Call me the pericardium, because I'd love to hold your heart.

You must be vasodilation, because you've got me feeling warm all over.

Is your name Atrium? Because you're the upper chamber of my heart.

Like a perfect ECG, you've got my heart in the right rhythm.

Are you my pulmonary vein? Because you bring all the oxygen to my heart.

You must be my mitral valve, because you've captured my heart completely.

Call me the bundle of His, because I'm conducting feelings straight to my heart for you.

You're like cardiac muscle - strong, reliable, and absolutely essential.

Must be ventricular fibrillation, because you've got my heart all fluttered.

Are you my stroke volume? Because you fill my heart completely.

Like a cardiac stress test, you push my heart to its limits.

You must be repolarization, because you're bringing me back to life.

Call me the apex of the heart, because I'm pointing right at you.

Are you my cardiac reserve? Because you give me strength when I need it most.

Must be cardiac hypertrophy, because my heart grows bigger every time I see you.

Like preload and afterload, we're meant to work together.

You must be my cardiac output, because you're what keeps me going.

Is that ventricular fibrillation, or are you just making my heart quiver with excitement?

You must be peripheral resistance, because all my blood is rushing to the right places.

Call me diastole, because I'm ready to let you in.

You're like a PVC - making me skip a beat and leaving me excited for the next one.

Must be vasodilation, because you've got me hot and bothered.

You should come with a warning label - you're raising more than just my blood pressure.

Are you cardiogenic shock? Because you've got my circulation completely compromised.

Like good circulation, I'd love to take you to every part of my body.

Must be endocarditis, because you've infected my heart in the best way.

Are you my vena cava? Because I'd love to fill your chambers.

You must be cardiac output, because you've got me pumping.

Like my stroke volume, I'd give you everything I've got.

Are you my pulmonary artery? Because you're making me breathless.

You must be epinephrine, because you've got me stimulated.

Call me the cardiac muscle - I can go all night without getting tired.

Is that tachycardia, or am I just excited to see you?

Like a good ECG, I bet we could make some interesting waves together.

Must be heart block, because you've stopped me in my tracks.

You're like my ejection fraction - always giving 100%.

Are you a defibrillator? Because you've got me shocked and ready to go.

Like my cardiac sphincter, I know when to let the right one in.

Must be hypertension, because you've got me all worked up.

You're like my cardiac conduction - fast and efficient.

Are you reperfusion? Because you're bringing life back to all my parts.

Like a good stress test, I bet you could really get my heart racing.

Must be systole, because you've got me contracting with anticipation.

Call me the apex - I'm pointing right where I want to be.

You're like cardiac preload - filling me up just right.

Are you my coronary arteries? Because you're essential to my pleasure.