81 Desperate Pick Up Lines

Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I'm feeling a strong connection, and I'm desperately hoping you're not password protected.

On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight? Because I'm as desperate as a last-minute tax filing.

Call me a social media app because I'm desperately seeking your approval and engagement.

Call me a browser cookie because I'm desperately hoping you'll accept me.

Call me a social media app because I'm desperately seeking your approval and engagement.

You must be a seller's market, because I'm feeling desperate to close.

Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got FINE written all over you... and I'm probably going to go broke trying to impress you.

I seem to have lost my phone number... and my wallet... and my dignity... but could I maybe get your number?

They say dating apps are the future, but my thumbs are tired from swiping. Mind if I try the old-fashioned way with you?

I'd write you a love song, but all I know is the sound of my heart going *ba-dum-tss* when I see you.

Are you a black hole? Because I'm falling hopelessly into your gravitational field and there's no escape.

I don't have a clever pickup line prepared... but I do have this awkward silence and winning personality?

I'm not a photographer, but I've been picturing us together so much I might as well start charging myself royalties.

Is your name Google? Because you've got everything I've been searching for... and I've been searching for a LONG time.

They say patience is a virtue, but I've been virtuous long enough watching you from across the room.

Are you a bank loan? Because you've got my interest, and I'm willing to commit to some serious long-term investment.

I was going to try playing hard to get, but let's be honest – I'm about as hard to get as free samples at Costco.

Is your name Spotify? Because you're the only premium package I'd never cancel.

Call me a meteorite because I'm falling hard, fast, and probably going to leave an impression.

Are you a deadline? Because my heart races when I think about you, and I can't afford to miss this chance.

I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you and I'm melting every second you look at me.

Are you a vintage vinyl record? Because you're rare, precious, and I'd love to take you for a spin.

I tried writing you a poem, but all I could come up with was 'roses are red, please say you're free...'

Is this the clearance section? Because I'm getting major 100% off vibes, and I'm sold.

Are you my student loans? Because you're always on my mind and I'm committed for the long term.

Must be a ghost notification because I keep checking my phone hoping to see your message.

Are you a streaming buffering symbol? Because you've got me waiting in suspense.

Call me a printer because I'm running out of ink trying to write you love notes.

Must be a broken compass because all directions are pointing to you.

Are you my building's elevator? Because you keep lifting my spirits but leaving me waiting.

Call me a dating app because I'd swipe right on you until my finger breaks.

Must be a memory leak because thoughts of you are taking up all my mental space.

Are you my laptop's fan? Because you make my heart race even when I'm doing nothing.

Call me a smart watch because I'm tracking every second until I see you again.

Must be a power surge because you're overloading my circuits with these feelings.

Are you my internet provider? Because without you, I feel totally disconnected.

Call me a pop-up ad because I'll keep trying even after you reject me multiple times.

Must be a software license because I'm ready to agree to all your terms and conditions.

Are you my phone's storage? Because you're occupying all my space and I need more.

Call me a beta tester because I'm ready to debug all our potential issues.

Must be a system update because you're critical to my functionality.

Are you my search history? Because I can't stop coming back to you.

Call me cloud storage because I've got unlimited space for memories with you.

Are you a Netflix series? Because I'm ready to commit to multiple seasons of us together.

Call me autumn because I'm falling harder than leaves in October... and about as smoothly.

Are you a cryptic crossword? Because I'm puzzled by how amazing you are, and I'd love to spend hours trying to figure you out.

I must be a browser history because I can't stop thinking about clearing my schedule for you.

Are you a gaming console? Because you're next-gen material and I'm willing to wait in line for years.

I'd compare you to a star, but even astronomy can't explain how you've got me feeling this starstruck.

Must be a power outage because you're leaving me in the dark about whether you're single.

Are you a streaming service? Because I'm ready to share my password and my life with you.

Call me a shopping cart because I keep circling back to you hoping you'll pick me up.

Are you a rare Pokémon? Because I've thrown every ball I've got and still can't catch your attention.

Must be a spelling error because how are you still single? Let me help you autocorrect that.

Are you a delayed flight? Because I've been waiting forever, but you're still worth it.

Must be a glitch in the matrix because I can't believe someone like you exists... and is still single.

Are you a phone battery? Because you're giving me life but I'm running out of charge trying to impress you.

Call me a startup because I've got big dreams, zero profit, but 100% commitment to making this work.

Must be a software update because you keep popping up in my mind and I can't postpone you anymore.

Are you an elevator? Because you've got me going up and down emotionally and I'm still waiting for my floor.

Call me a weather app because I'm trying to predict if there's a chance of us happening... and I'm usually wrong.

Must be a typo because U and I should definitely be together.

Are you my student loans? Because you're always on my mind and I'm committed for the long term.

Must be a ghost notification because I keep checking my phone hoping to see your message.

Are you a streaming buffering symbol? Because you've got me waiting in suspense.

Call me a printer because I'm running out of ink trying to write you love notes.

Must be a broken compass because all directions are pointing to you.

Are you my building's elevator? Because you keep lifting my spirits but leaving me waiting.

Call me a dating app because I'd swipe right on you until my finger breaks.

Must be a memory leak because thoughts of you are taking up all my mental space.

Are you my laptop's fan? Because you make my heart race even when I'm doing nothing.

Call me a smart watch because I'm tracking every second until I see you again.

Must be a power surge because you're overloading my circuits with these feelings.

Are you my internet provider? Because without you, I feel totally disconnected.

Call me a pop-up ad because I'll keep trying even after you reject me multiple times.

Must be a software license because I'm ready to agree to all your terms and conditions.

Are you my phone's storage? Because you're occupying all my space and I need more.

Call me a beta tester because I'm ready to debug all our potential issues.

Must be a system update because you're critical to my functionality.

Are you my search history? Because I can't stop coming back to you.

Call me cloud storage because I've got unlimited space for memories with you.